The Psychology of Moving to Wichita Falls 06/23/2018by Julie DeLong, A-1 Freeman Moving Group Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best Moving is tough—no matter the conditions, any time you are packing up all your worldly goods (read--old books, lamps you've been meaning to fix, kids’ art projects) and move them to a new home is staggering for even the most chipper and hopeful among us. When you've obtained your dream job—four states away--and your significant other will have to say goodbye to their career, when life has served you a big curveball and you're basically forced to move, when living independently is no longer possible---you have to manage a rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs alongside the stress of the physical move to Wichita Falls. A big stressor in moving is getting a handle on the whims of the real estate business. You are a grown person, valued in your town, and your life is totally in the hands of a bunch of people you have never met--what if your residence does not sell? What if the folks with the contract on your house decide they want to buy another house? Suppose they demand you to leave the curtains and the kids' swingset? Suppose the appraiser takes note of the crack in the foundation that is kind of unseen behind the hedge? What if the home inspector uncovers your new residence has a wornout roof or there is a new bowling alley and travel plaza projected for across the street from your new addition? Here is the reality. You have little say over any of these things. The best you can do is to make sure that the realtor helping with your home and the realtor helping you buy the new residence are competent and do their jobs--and talk with both to have a back-up plan should something go awry. Consider real estate transactions a long run of dominoes--closings usually are dependent upon another closing happening as scheduled. One hiccup several steps up the line can have an impact on your buyers timetable, and the same thing goes for the residence you're moving to—a last minute snag might mean you can't close on the day that you had planned, and you are up all night thinking about how you are going to cope when you are homeless for a few days, or if you might be able to move into one of the moving company’s moving vans and set up camp. Calm down. One of the perks of the recession is that real estate regulations have changed and there are not nearly as many eleventh hour changes with your closings. You should discover any probable concerns well before your closing date, and in the event something does change, moving companies are super adept at working with changing time frames. If an issue does slow your move down, you should have the alternative of moving in a few days before you actually close--again, a good realtor thinks about contingencies, so you do not have to stress about these things. Touch base with your realtors and lender once per week before your closing date to ensure all the inspections and repairs and other details are going as they should; staying on top of it maintains at least a feeling of control, and if there is a glitch you are not caught unaware. If the worst does happen, like if you are building and weather has postponed inspections and you do not have the occupancy certificate a few days before you close because the plumbing is not completed, AND you have a rock solid close on your old residence and the movers are slammed, don't lose it. Most moving companies can provide temporary or long-term storage until you can move in your new home, and your realtor should be able to assist you in finding short-term housing until your home is accessible. Snafus like these are not likely, but when they do occur your angst levels skyrocket--so trust your team to help you figure it out. The Emotional Stages of Moving So, you're moving to Wichita Falls--and it might be an exciting time, it could be a challenge. You might be relocating four blocks or three hundred miles away. Everyone’s circumstances are unique, but people are mostly alike--the emotional rollercoaster just varies from residence to home. Some are kiddie sized, with happy Disney characters to ride in, and others mirror a gravity-defying, nausea-producing Loch Ness monster. The accomplishment is to change that roller coaster into a peaceful ride with chipper little people singing "It's A Small World" as you sail through your closets. Some researchers and psychologists have linked moving--in any condition--to the Kubler-Ross five stages of grief model. In other words, you encounter denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. When you have built a life in one place, it is very normal to have mixed emotions about selling the house where you were carried (or carried) over the threshold, where you brought your kiddos home, where you celebrated all those birthdays and anniversaries. If your move is not choice but an essentiality, it's okay to be angry with the circumstances that have brought you to the place where you are vacating your residence because you have no choice. Be furious, yell and holler at the walls and ask your family and friends for support. Take some time trying to think about how to not have to relocate—perhaps your spouse could commute, or rent an apartment in the new city; if you need help taking care of your house, you might consider getting live in help. Working through your choices, as far out as they may be, helps you work through the reality of moving so that it's a bit more pleasant to accept it. Then, you can spend a few days or weeks in denial, of sorts. This is when your relatives ask if they can come over and help you go through your things, and you fib a bit and say you're nearly completed, when in reality you have pitched two dried up ink pens and an empty bottle of hand soap and haven’t picked up the first box for packing. If you're really struggling with the nitty gritty of purging and packing, have your family help you. Or, ask your moving company to pack things up for you—many full-service movers have professional packers who can either get you going or do the whole job for you. Finally, you'll accept the transition and change. It may not be the day the trucks arrive, it could take a few months. But the human spirit is a resilient thing and you will come to accept and embrace your new locale in Wichita Falls. That is not to say it will be without angst, but being willing to start a new life and doing new things can ease the nostalgia for your old house and your old life. The members of your family might all experience the same feelings, although with varying degrees of ferocity--teenagers’ reactions are going to be a tad more aggressive than that of a younger child. If you are vacating your family home for senior living because one spouse is not doing well, then the more active spouse may experience more anger and denial. The important thing is to not forget that the emotional twists and turns are normal and it would be odd if you did not get sad or mad or a little crazy during the move. Keeping your move in perspective is key to arriving to the new home in one piece. Your life isn't contained in the brick and mortar of your old residence, your life is in the memories you have formed there. Keep in mind that you won't lose old friends, and that you will meet new ones. And one day, you'll open the front door and think to yourself, "I am home." Easing the Transition Most people are intrenched in habits--even young children select their favorite stuffed animal and woe to you if it is in the wash at nap time. So, when you move, you're lots of times changing up all your habits in place and even if you're excited about the new residence, the new life you've got to evolve around it is challenging to even the most courageous. When you are moving and anxious about building a new life for you and your family in Wichita Falls, here are some ways to help with the transition. Get your family enthusiastic about the move to Wichita Falls. If this deciphers to agreeing that your teenage daughter can paint a life-size elephant on her wall, put a smile on your face and get the paint. It might mean that at last you have enough space for a dog—figure out what kind of dog would fit best with your family, and as soon as you are settled into your new home, head to the local shelter and get a new furry family member. Plan to bring home two, as everybody needs a pal. Let your kids put up tents and camp out in that new yard. Of course, it its bribery of a sort, but it's all for the greater good and the delight of new privileges and besides, puppies help everybody buy into the new house and town. And, if you're the one having a difficult time with it, seeing your family happy goes a long way to helping your state of mind. When you're moving, the world-wide web (if you are older that terminology makes sense to you) makes the trip a lot easier. You most likely utilized real estate websites to search for your new residence and investigate schools and neighborhoods, so you have a adequate idea already of your new bubble. Use social media to connect with people--towns big and small have mom groups that suggest everything from dentist reviews to the best swim lessons--and do not forget to use your new neighbors as a resource. Many neighborhoods have social media pages and online listings that tell you whose kids babysit, dog walk and shovel snow. If you have kids, transitioning activities is lots more crucial to them than that pediatrician. Being able to hop right back into soccer or karate or dance keeps them in a routine and helps them feel a part of their new surroundings-the last thing you need is to have pouting kids around the home grumbling that they hate you and do not have anyone to hang out with. And here is a fun bit of information—research shows that moving in the middle of the school year is less stressful for new students than moving over the summer break. If you begin a new school at the beginning of the year it's easier to get lost in the crowd , but when you start when school's in session, it is more likely your kids will meet friends faster and be more interested in school. The loss of a feeling of belonging can be a difficult part of a relocation for the grown-ups. When you are used to stopping by a neighbor's house just because you see her car in the driveway, being in a new area where you don't know anyone is hard. Remember that your new neighbors are probably interested in being friends with you, because they've possibly said goodbye to their drive-by buddies and are looking forward to getting to know the new neighbors (aka – you!). Taking the dog for a walk is a great way to say hello to the neighbors--their eagerness to learn about you is high, and this gives you a simple way to meet everybody. Many churches and synagogues have newcomers’ gatherings that you and your family can be a part of, and help you to discover how you fit within that community. Many schools welcome volunteers, so contemplate getting involved. And, if you're part of a national club like Rotary or Junior League your membership can be easily transferred. Life changes are tough, but by giving yourself and your loved ones the okay to be a little sad about the past will assist everyone accept the future. If you are contemplating a move, contact A-1 Freeman Moving Group to begin on your free in-home estimate. We promise to do our part to make your move to Wichita Falls as seamless as possible.