The Psychology of Moving to Wichita Falls 06/23/2018by Julie DeLong, A-1 Freeman Moving Group Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best Moving is tough—regardless of the conditions, any time you are packing up all your worldly goods (read--old books, lamps you've been meaning to fix, kids’ art projects) and move them to a new residence is staggering for even the most organized and hopeful among us. When you've obtained your dream job—four states away--and your significant other will have to say goodbye to their career, when life has served you a big roadblock and you're basically forced to move, when living independently is no longer possible---you must manage a bunch of emotional ups and downs alongside the stress of the physical move to Wichita Falls. A big stressor in moving is understanding the whims of the real estate business. You are a mature adult, valued in your town, and your life is totally in the hands of some people you have never met--what if your home does not sell? What if the folks with the contract on your house decide they want to buy another house? Suppose they ask you to leave the washer & dryer and the kids' swingset? Suppose the appraiser takes note of the crevice in the foundation that is kind of hidden behind the hedge? What if the home inspector uncovers your new home has a wornout roof or there is a new bowling alley and travel plaza projected for across the street from your new subdivision? Here is the truth. You have little control over any of these things. The best you can do is to be sure that the realtor helping with your home and the realtor helping you buy the new residence are competent and do their jobs--and communicate with both to have a emergency plan should something go off course. Consider real estate transactions a huge run of dominoes--closings usually are dependent upon another closing happening on time. One blunder five steps up the line can have an impact on your buyers timetable, and the same thing goes for the home you're moving to—a last minute snag might mean you can't close when you had planned, and you are up all night thinking about how you are going to cope when you are homeless for a few days, or if you might be able to move into one of the moving company’s moving vans and set up camp. Calm down. One of the advantages of the recession is that real estate regulations have changed and there are not nearly as many eleventh hour updates with your closings. You should discover any probable issues well ahead of your closing date, and if something does change, moving companies are super adept at working with changing time frames. If a setback does slow your move down, you should have the alternative of moving in a few days before you actually close--again, a good realtor thinks about contingencies, so you do not have to stress about these things. Touch base with your realtors and lender once per week prior to your closing date to ensure all the inspections and repairs and specifics are going as they should; staying on top of it maintains at least a feeling of control, and if there is a glitch you are not hit unexpectedly. If the worst does occur, like if you are building and weather has postponed inspections and you do not have the occupancy certificate a few days before you close because the plumbing is not completed, AND you have a rock solid close on your old home and the movers are booked up, don't lose it. Most moving companies offer temporary or long-term storage until you can move in your new home, and your realtor may be able to help you find short-term housing until your home is accessible. Snafus like these are unlikely, but when they do occur your angst levels skyrocket--so trust your team to help you figure it out. The Emotional Stages of Moving So, you're moving to Wichita Falls--and it might be an exciting time, it may be a challenge. You might be moving four blocks or three hundred miles away. Everyone’s circumstances are unique, but people are very much alike--the emotional rollercoaster just varies from home to home. Some are kiddie sized, with happy Disney characters to ride in, and others mirror a gravity-defying, nausea-generating Loch Ness monster. The feat is to change that roller coaster into a mellow ride with chipper little people singing "It's A Small World" as you sail through your closets. Some researchers and psychologists have linked moving--in any condition--to the Kubler-Ross five stages of grief model. In other words, you encounter denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. When you have built a life in one place, it is absolutely normal to have regrets about moving from the house where you called home after your honeymoon, where you brought your kiddos home, where you celebrated all those birthdays and graduations. If your move is not choice but a requirement, it's okay to be angry with the state of affairs that have brought you to the place where you are moving from your house because you have no choice. Be furious, yell and whoop at the walls and lean on your family and friends for support. Take some time trying to think about how to not have to relocate—perhaps your spouse could commute, or rent a room in the new town; if you need help keeping house, you might consider getting live in help. Working through your alternatives, as crazy as they may be, helps you work through the reality of moving so that it's a tad more pleasant to accept it. Then, you can spend a few days or weeks in denial, of sorts. This is when your relatives ask if they can swing by and help you go through your belongings, and you fib a tad and say you're nearly completed, when in actuality you have pitched two dried up ink pens and an empty bottle of hand soap and haven’t picked up the first box for packing. If you're really struggling with the nitty gritty of purging and packing, have your family help you. Or, ask your moving company to pack things up for you—the majority of full-service movers have professional packers who can either get you going or do the whole job for you. Finally, you'll accept the transition and change. It may not be the day the trucks pull up, it could take a few months. But the human spirit is an adaptable thing and you will come to accept and embrace your new locale in Wichita Falls. That is not to say it will be simple, but being open to start a new life and doing new things can ease the nostalgia for your old house and your old life. The members of your family might all experience the same feelings, although with different degrees of ferocity--teenagers’ reactions are going to be a bit more aggressive than that of a younger child. If you are vacating your family home for senior living because one spouse is not doing well, then the more active spouse may feel more anger and denial. The important thing is to keep in mind that the emotional twists and turns are normal and it would be odd if you did not get sad or mad or a little crazy during the move. Keeping your move in perspective is key to arriving to the new residence relatively unscathed. Your life isn't contained in the brick and mortar of your old home, your life is in the memories you have formed there. Keep in mind that you won't lose old friends, and that you will meet new ones. And one day, you'll open the front door and think to yourself, "I am home." Easing the Transition People have habitual behavior ingrained in them--even toddlers choose their cuddly stuffed animal and you’ll be in trouble if it is nowhere to be found at nap time. So, when you move, you're lots of times shaking up all your habits in place and even if you're excited about the new home, the new life you've got to evolve around it is challenging to even the most courageous. When you are moving and concerned about building a new life for you and your family in Wichita Falls, here are some ways to assist with the transition. Get your family pumped up about the move to Wichita Falls. If this deciphers to agreeing that your teenage daughter can paint her room black, put a smile on your face and get the paint. It might mean that at last you have enough space for a dog—figure out what kind of dog would fit best with your family, and as soon as you are settled into your new home, head to the local shelter and get a new furry family member. Plan to bring home two, as everybody needs a pal. Let your kids set up tents and camp out in that new yard. Of course, it its bribery of a sort, but it's all for the greater good and the thrill of new privileges and besides, puppies help everybody buy into the new house and town. And, if you're the one having a tough time with it, seeing your family happy goes a long way to fixing your spirits. When you're moving, the world-wide web (if you are older that expression makes sense to you) makes the trip a lot easier. You probably utilized real estate websites to search for your new home and investigate schools and neighborhoods, so you have a adequate idea already of your new bubble. Use social media to connect with people--towns big and small have mom groups that suggest all kinds of things from dentist reviews to the best swim lessons--and do not forget to use your new neighbors as a resource. A lot of neighborhoods have social media pages and online listings that tell you whose kids babysit, dog walk and rake leaves. If you have kids, transitioning activities is lots more vital to them than that pediatrician. Being able to get right back into soccer or swimming lessons or gymnastics keeps them in a routine and helps them feel a part of their new area-the last thing you need is to have pouting kids around the home grumbling that they hate you and do not have anyone to hang out with. And here is a fun bit of information—findings show that moving in the middle of the school year is less stressful for kids than moving over the summer break. If you begin a new school at the beginning of the year it's easier to get lost in the crowd , but when you start when school's in session, it is more possible your kids will meet friends faster and be more interested in school. The loss of a feeling of belonging can be the hardest part of a relocation for the grown-ups. When you are used to stopping by a neighbor's home just because it’s part of your routine, being in a new area where you don't know anyone is hard. Remember that your new neighbors are probably interested in being friends with you, because they've probably said adios to their drive-by buddies and are looking forward to getting to know the new neighbors (aka – you!). Taking the dog for a walk is a sure-fire way to say hello to the neighbors--their curiosity about you is high, and this gives you a low-key way to meet everybody. Most churches and synagogues have newcomers’ gatherings that you and your family can be a part of, and assist you to work out how you fit within that community. Many schools love volunteers, so ponder getting involved. And, if you're part of a national association like Rotary or Junior League your membership can be easily transferred. Life changes are tough, but by giving yourself and your loved ones the okay to be a little sad about the past will assist everyone accept the future. If you are getting ready for a move, contact A-1 Freeman Moving Group to begin on your free in-home estimate. We promise to do our part to make your move to Wichita Falls as smooth as possible.